Please and Thank You

In the thick soft quiet that descends upon the city when it is blanketed in snow, I heard it: the scraping of a snow shovel, and I thought: “Thank you.” When I went out walking later, I thought those words again every time I reached a stretch of shoveled sidewalk or crossed the plowed streets. In this season of miracles, in this month of lighting up the darkness, in these very last days of the year, I think the greatest gift we can give is gratitude.

At Thanksgiving celebrations we tend to focus on the big things: family, health, prosperity, friends. Too often though, the daily offerings of life go unnoticed. Every day, people get out of bed and go to work, and each of us benefits. Stores open, trains run, restaurants serve food, electricity flows. What would happen if no one showed up for work?

When I was a young mother much of what I did was thankless and invisible. Really it was only noticeable if I didn’t do it, but for the most part, I got it done. The children were clothed, fed and loved, but I used to joke that babies never sit up and thank their mom for changing their diapers.

Have you said “Thank you” today? Maybe someone turned the heat up before you got out of bed this morning, or braved the cold to bring in the paper. Did you say “Thank you” to the bus driver, the gas station attendant or the barista? We are all taught to say “Please” and “Thank you” early in life but it takes awhile to understand the true power and meaning of these words. As we grow, we come to realize that people have a choice as to what they do and how they do it. “Please” acknowledges their choice, and “Thank you” recognizes their effort. Hearing those words can make someone’s day. Saying them can make yours.

Everyday countless little miracles occur. The mail arrives, the garbage disappears, groceries get bagged. Houses are cleaned, hair is cut, yoga classes are taught, cars get fixed. Planes take off, beds are made, factories produce. And sure, lots of people are just doing their jobs, and maybe the paycheck is their best reward. I can hear some of you out there saying, “Hey! We don’t need to laud everyone just for doing what they are supposed to do.” But I am not suggesting we give out medals. I am just suggesting we say, “Thank you.”

It feels good to be acknowledged. It feels good to be thanked. And here is the secret: it feels good to appreciate what people do. It feels good to say “Thank you.”

So today I challenge you to be part of an Exercise in Gratitude. In the midst of your holiday tumult see how many people you can thank, just for doing what they do every day, and see what happens. Just for fun, write me comments on how it goes. Catch the eye of the bus driver when you thank him. Get off your cell phone in the grocery line and thank the cashier. Thank the toll booth attendant. Thank your spouse for emptying the dishwasher. Thank yourself for working so hard. And while you are at it, call your mother. Those diapers didn’t change themselves, you know.