Dancing in the Rain: Graduation 2013

by , under Thoughts on This and That, Thoughts on This and That

The weather roller coaster continues its crazy ride. It poured rain again Friday with temperatures in the 50’s after cycling through the 90’s, 80’s and 70’s all in the past two weeks. This being graduation season, when I saw that rain I felt bad for all the families braving the elements to cheer their students on. It felt very familiar: that was my family this past freezing cold Memorial Day weekend.

A few years back, when the younger generation of my family started growing up, we decided to try to get as much of our family together as possible for the upcoming college graduations. That is not so easy anymore with everyone scattered around the country with different work and school schedules, but my nephew’s graduation from Brown was most certainly an occasion worthy of the effort of gathering the clan. Eleven of us – my mother, sister, brother, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, nephews, children, husband and I – all descended on Rhode Island just in time for the skies to open and the temperature to drop below 50.

Most of Brown’s festivities were outside, starting with the Campus Dance on Friday night. A long time tradition, 11,000 people gathered under the stars, or in this year’s case, the clouds, to dance and toast another successful graduating class. Eleven thousand people wrapped in coats and hats, with shoes covered in mud, danced and let loose in time-honored celebratory style. Those 11,000 people, defying the weather and risking pneumonia, were making quite a statement: graduating from college is something really worth celebrating.

The class of 2013 has worked hard. It is difficult to get into college in the first place, and no easy feat to complete 4 years of study. In addition to the course work, the students learned to live on their own, do laundry, build community, feed themselves and juggle responsibilities. Hopefully, there has been some mind-stretching, some thinking, and with any luck they have developed a love of learning. These young people have reached a goal they had been working towards pretty much their whole lives. It is important to stop at a moment like that and recognize the accomplishment.

At the graduation ceremony that Sunday, still freezing and wrapped in blankets, I was struck by the bitter-sweetness of the moment. My graduating nephew’s two brothers and two cousins sat in the audience cheering him on. The younger ones are still in college looking forward to this triumphant moment. The older ones are on the other side of that mountain. Those two looked a bit subdued, thinking perhaps about the realities they have faced since their own starry eyed walk across the stage.

The graduation ceremony is actually called Commencement, which means “beginning.” The beginning of the rest of their lives. The beginning of life in the “real world.” Reality can be a rough landing after the high flying days of graduation, especially in a bad economy where jobs are limited and competition is fierce. Commencement of the next stage can feel like a hangover from more than just the celebration parties. The giddy happy graduating students had a slightly hysterical look in their eyes as everyone started to realize that an ending and a beginning were taking place.

After 4 years together the members of the class of 2013, feeling closer together than ever at Commencement, were about to be separated, each on their own individual paths. Many of their friendships will keep these grads afloat through the years ahead, their shared experiences and value systems providing a bond of reassurance as they go out into the world, but they walk their paths alone. They don’t know it yet, but graduation means they are ready now for the hard stuff.

Ultimately the learning they accomplish on their new paths will be as valuable as that which has happened within their classroom walls. They will learn to work hard, even when the work isn’t compelling. They will learn to dig deep and find their inner strength, discover what they really want to do on a daily basis, and what they can do when they have to. They will have less control over their options and more control over what they make of those options. They will learn the incomparable sense of satisfaction that comes from a good day’s work, and they will learn humility in the face of what it takes to be a contributing member of our society, no matter what kind of work a person does.

My mother always taught us to “make an occasion.” Life is hard. Don’t miss the chance to celebrate the high points, stop and cheer the accomplishments, acknowledge the work that went into reaching a goal. Dance in the rain with those who have come out to celebrate with you, and you will be humming that song when you start real life in the morning.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished; that will be the beginning.” Louis L’Amour

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  1. Stacy Gomez

    As someone important (Mom) once said: “If you don’t celebrate the occasions, every day is the same.” There may be tough times ahead, but dancing in the rain was so much fun!

    Reply
  2. Henny Hall

    Oh, Ellen……..you have said it all and it is beautiful. I loved it!!…….HH

    Reply

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